


Like a Distant Diamond Sky

by hiddencait



Series: Gundam Wing Prompt Fills [3]
Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: 1xR - Freeform, F/M, Introspection, Post Series, Pre-Endless Waltz, Pre-Relationship, side pairing Noin/Zechs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:15:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27509692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiddencait/pseuds/hiddencait
Summary: For a tumblr prompt of "Sky"Relena muses on just where her Heero might be.
Relationships: Relena Peacecraft/Heero Yuy
Series: Gundam Wing Prompt Fills [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2046620
Comments: 6
Kudos: 10





	Like a Distant Diamond Sky

**Author's Note:**

  * For [blithers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blithers/gifts).



> Untouchable like a distant diamond sky  
> I'm reaching out and I just can't tell you why  
> I'm caught up in you  
> I'm caught up in you  
> Untouchable  
> Burning brighter than the sun  
> And when you're close I feel like coming undone  
> -"Untouchable" by Taylor Swift  
> (What? This is possibly the MOST 1xR song ever except for a toss up with Savage Garden's "To The Moon and Back")
> 
> Welp after a 2020 election season self-care marathon rewatch, I am apparently back on my bullshit and remembering just how much I love this series and this pairing in particular. It's HIGHLY likely I will be writing more 1xR (with various side pairings) in the near future in the midst of other WIPs I'm got lingering around. Frankly I regret nothing.

“Heero, where _are_ you?” Relena breathed, causing the glass before her to fog with her exhale. As much as she might wish otherwise, this was not the first time she’d done this: stared out the window up into the haze of the night sky wondering if he was up there, floating somewhere in the darkness of space like the star she’d once thought him to be.

He might be, Relena knew. In the year since the war, he might have travelled anywhere at all, to the colonies, across the planet earth, just down the street, somewhere in her own house for heaven’s sake. Heero might be literally anywhere, and she had no way of knowing where he’d ended up. Not unless he wanted her to know, and those precious times were rare indeed, and painfully brief. Rarer still were those moments more than glimpses, a pause or a breath and the meeting of his eyes across a crowded room, their gazes drawn together as if by magnetic forces.

He _allowed_ her to see him. Relena had no doubt that he’d sometimes managed to watch her unseen, unnoticed with her all too unaware – though there were those times too that she _felt_ him near, with an almost sixth sense like the softest brush of his hand across the nape of her neck revealing his presence even if he never let her catch even a glimpse of his reflection in a window or mirror. It was enough to know _he_ had seen _her,_ had _wanted_ to see her, as damned if anyone made Heero do anything he didn’t wish to anymore now that the war was over.

Any missions he took up were his choice, even ones so small as peeking in on the life of a much-too-young-for-her-position politician.

It was a comfort, knowing he still cared enough to check up on her, or that he at least was curious if not caring in the way she wanted him to.

It was also infuriating as damned if she could tell if he did want her or not, and this ongoing campaign of unexpected visitations hardly clarified the matter without him saying something, _anything,_ one way or another.

She felt the heavy ache in her heart calling on a similar ache in her temple as the aggravation of missing him like a limb began to lead her down the path to a stress headache. Quatre would laugh if she told him the Perfect Soldier was a literal pain for her at this point; the gentle pilot and heir to the Winner family had slotted into her life as if he’d always been there in the wake of everything. Even if Heero never became a permanent fixture in her life, Quatre’s friendship alone was worth the anguish she’d lived through, she thought. He was just… steady somehow, grounded in himself and his kindness in a way all too ironic for one born as far from the ground as was possible for a human being.

Kind enough not to tell her if he had contact with Heero, though sometimes she wished he’d let himself be cruel enough to mention it.

But no, it was for the best; knowing too much of Heero’s movements would lead her to obsess even more than she already did. And yes, she knew it verged on obsession, this need for an awareness of him.

In her defense, he clearly needed it just as much as she did or he wouldn’t continue this habit of popping in and out of the fringes of her life like a particularly vexing spirit or haunt.

It was just easier to bear during the day, she thought, with meetings and press conferences and paperwork – so _so_ much paperwork – and commuting and phone calls and… All of the day to day business of a woman in her position kept her focused and busy and, she sometimes thought most importantly, inside. Confined to a building, Relena could keep her eyes to the interior, the walls and furniture and fixtures that were so mundane, and thus off of the sky – that place he was so stunningly at home. She’d deliberately asked for her desks to face inward instead of toward the windows. Let her staff think her dedicated to her job – they were correct after all, though not in the way they likely expected.

Relena however knew it was just more posturing on her part.

She was not as resistant to temptation as most might think; with a window before her, she could too easily lose all sense of time as she looked out and up and pictured the places he might be. Perhaps it was not the most terrible flaw for a politician. Relena had so easily avoided so many of the other vices those in government were often known for and viciously gossiped about to boot.

But it was a hindrance to her productivity, and one she could not allow to run unchecked. Thus the desk and her habit for requesting interior conference rooms for her meetings as opposed to the spacious glass walled ones others so often had their secretaries all but fight over to claim. It was another of her habits the staff assumed a mere eccentricity or perhaps a practical security consideration.

Noin approved of said habit, after all, had even told her so explicitly, though she’d done so with a wry glint in her eyes that told Relena her motivations might not be so hidden to those who truly knew her well. Noin could hardly say too much, though; she and Relena shared their sad attraction to men who were so often out of reach – not that Relena had dared mention her suspicions that her brother lived out loud, to Noin or anyone else for that matter. Not even at times like now, when she stood alone in her room where there shouldn’t be anyone to hear her. He, like Heero, might be out there amongst the darkened sky, lingering just out of sight of the pair of women he cared for, clinging to the anonymity of death when they both wished he’d cling to them instead.

Just as Heero clung to his transience instead of allowing himself the home Relena was more than willing to provide him. Or those his fellow pilots and friends might provide.

She wondered if he’d ever settle down to one place. She wanted that for him. Even if that place was somewhere far from her side, she wanted him to find that sense of home and stability he’d never been allowed in his past.

He deserved it, after all. Had fought for it, longer and harder than anyone but his fellows could possibly know. And even then, Relena had to wonder if the other pilots had been as adrift as Heero, or if any of them had at least been given some kind of foundation once upon a time. Quatre had, which she was grateful for, though he’d once admitted he’d taken it terribly for granted in his youth.

His _youth_. As if he or any of them were more than children really, even now. Sixteen felt so much older than fourteen had, and fifteen was all but a blur to her now when she tried to remember it. She too had taken so much for granted then. Her home, her family, her position in society and at school.

The sky had been the limit then, as the saying went, and she wondered when that quiet spoiled certainty in the path of her own future had vanished. Was it her first glimpse of Heero? The death of her father? Her farce of a crowning as the Queen of the World?

Relena couldn’t say. It didn’t matter in any event. She’d grown up in the war, just as the others had. She wanted that childish wonder back now, wanted for just a moment to wish upon a shooting star – one hopefully void of the machines of war – to look up with curiosity instead of exhaustion and longing.

She just… wanted, she supposed.

Down the hall, she heard the muffled voices that sounded the change in her security shift. It was late then, late enough she should be responsible and go to bed, the better to face the following day and all the busy days after. Resigned, Relena changed into her pajamas and switched off the lamps.

Then, unable to help herself, she returned to the window.

As she had so many times now, she stood there staring at the sky for long into the night.


End file.
